


Long Way from Home

by Staria82



Series: Long Way From Home [1]
Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-07 15:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staria82/pseuds/Staria82
Summary: Avengers: Infinity War spoilers!After Thanos kills his brother, Loki, Thor pleads with a Volva (witch) to do what one ever dares to ask. To bring him back from the dead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Volva: shaman, seer, and witch of Norse mythology.
> 
> Seidr: Norse magic and shamanism concerned with discerning and altering the course of destiny by re-weaving part of destiny's web.

They had been floating in space for what seemed eternity. In all of her years alive Gudrun never imagined that one day she would be floating in space with a dead prince next to her, but here she was. 

Now, all she needed was for someone to see them floating in the never ending expanse of space and give them a lift. 

\---

When Thanos attacked their ship, the Asgardians had been celebrating their escape from Hela. They had been distracted and didn’t notice the gargantuan ship following them.

Gudrun remembers hiding behind rubble the whole time as she heard people screaming, bodies dropping dead all around her while she remained paralyzed. She wished herself to be small until she was small, a fraction of her true size. She always thought she would fight to the death if she had to, not hide like a coward. 

Only after silence fell over the ship like a dark shroud did she venture to slowly come out of her hiding place. She looked around absorbing the weight of all the loss; she had never witnessed so many dead like this. Amongst the dead she noticed movement, Thor laying on top of a dead body. She quickly rushed to him, not knowing who the fallen one was. As she got closer she could make a head of long raven hair, greenish eyes staring into nothingness. Loki. 

She tried to speak comforting words as she kneeled besides Thor, but none came. 

Upon noticing her, Thor grabbed her hands, pulling her closer to him.

“You have to do something. Use your sorcery to bring him back,” pleaded Thor. His despair so big, that he wasn’t really thinking clearly, asking what no one dares to ask of the Volva. Ever.

Gudrun wasn’t sure what to say, if she could or should do such a thing; but before she could even weigh in on the situation, the ship produced a loud wail as it fell apart. Pieces began flying everywhere. Dead bodies from her fellow Asgardians began drifting away as the hull was ruptured. In the confusion she lost sight of Thor. Instinctively, she created a force shield around her and Loki’s body. More explosions and fire engulfed them, but Gudrun steadied herself. Into the void they floated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrun wasn’t sure how long she’d been drifting.
> 
> Everything felt cold. Dark.

Gudrun wasn’t sure how long she’d been drifting.

Everything felt cold. Dark. She was tired and not too sure how long she could hold the  shield that was kept her alive. She wasn’t sure either of how much oxygen there was left inside the bubble. Thor’s last words rang in her ear over and over again. Bring Loki back.

As they drifted, she took a look at the prince. If she was going to keep floating for all eternity, she might as well do something, 

She never talked to Loki a lot while Asgard still existed. They lived in completely different worlds. Still, she saw him in the palace sometimes walking around, reading. There was the one time at the ball. He had always been nice to her even when others weren’t. Even after all the horrible things he’d done. 

Gudrun felt a pang of guilt. She could have done more to help back in the ship. Even do something to stop Hela. Maybe there wouldn’t be so many dead if she hadn’t been such a coward. 

“It seems it’s just you and me,” she said, half expecting him to answer, but there was only silence.

She sighed as she remembered the one time Loki danced with her. It was the one time she assisted a ball at the palace. The Matron Volva at the temple had encouraged her to experience normal life for one night before she pledged herself to Seidr. The matron had called it a cruel and thankless vocation. People praised you when things worked out and cursed you when they didn't. 

Gudrun would much rather have stayed in the temple studying her books, but everyone knew that when the Matron Volva advised you to do  something, you simply do it. Dancing with Loki that night really made it worth it; of course the Matron was right.

She had never noticed his long lashes or the lines on the corner of his eyes. He looked peaceful. She almost felt jealous of how peaceful he looked while she was stuck in the middle of nowhere not sure of her future. If no one found them, would she just float for all eternity? Or would it get to a point where her powers would run out and she would slowly choke to death?

Gudrun distracted herself from her thoughts by memorizing Loki’s face until she drifted into a dreamless sleep. It was better than facing her present reality.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New surroundings.

Gudrun opened her eyes to find  herself not in space but in a ship. Her own screams had woken her up from a nightmare filled with dead bodies and destruction. She wasn’t sure if the room was real or just part of the nightmare. 

Gudrun felt as strong hands held her down even as she tried to fight back. A firm voice was telling her to calm down. That everything was fine. It was last surviving Valkyrie. 

“It’s fine, you’re safe.”

“Where’s Loki?” Gudrun asked, still trying to discern nightmare from reality. Her legs could barely support her as she sat down on the bed she’d been resting. She felt sick of all of this and wasn’t sure if reality was worse than the nightmare.

“No more god of mischief,” Valkyrie said softly, “I can take you to him after dinner.” 

Valkyrie wanted to say more, ask questions, but her heart felt so heavy that no words came. When she’d spotted Gudrun and Loki near all the debris from the ship, she’d held hope that there were more survivors. They’d searched for hours before giving up. Valkyrie knew that Thor would give his life to safe Loki. To find him dead only meant his brother was dead as well.

“No one survived,” said Gudrun, as if reading the Valkyrie’s thought. “Everything happened so fast. Even Thor...” she continued, not really wanting to acknowledge Loki’s situation. Gudrun was still debating with herself whether or not she would try to bring Loki back. She wanted to, but she was scared of failing.  

“We’ll find all of them. Make the pay,” said Valkyrie, filled with anger. She got up from her place at the foot of the bed and left without another word. She knew what Gudrun was. What she could do. Valkyrie didn’t feel comfortable around her kind, so the less time she spent with her the better. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gudrun has to make a choice about Loki.

His body had been moved to a spare room where one was disturb him. Only Gudrun was allowed to see him and no one was to bother her. Two guards were to watch outside his door at all times.

It was like Valkyrie knew what Gudrun was about to attempt. Gudrun wasn’t sure if she should be glad or not as the Matron Volva’s words ringed in her ears: praised when things worked out and cursed you when they didn't. 

She slowly approached the sleeping prince, as she called him, not feeling ready to perform the darkest ritual a volva could do. Since the moment she woke up at the ship she debated whether or not to bring him back and what this meant for her. It wasn’t until she sat down for dinner that she figured to try. She had barely touched her food and barely heard a word anyone said at the table. Her mind and soul were set on Thor’s last words.

After hesitating a few times, she finally held Loki’s hand. Cold as it was she could still sense a faint spark run through him. She would have to work quickly. Even if she only ended up trading her life for his it would be worth it. Just like the Matron had said, this was a selfless calling. 

She should have been calm, ready to embrace her destiny but Gudrun was scared. Scared of the unknown. Too young to go on to the other world when there were things she still wanted to experience. She would have liked to know what it’s like to fall in love even though her calling doesn’t allow it. She would have loved to spend her life helping others. Gudrun had been a fool to think she would have a long life.

Gudrun gathered all of her courage before she changed her mind. It was time to start the ritual. She sat top of him legs straddling his lap to be as close to his body as possible. She tried to  hold his cold face in her hands but she was trembling like a scared child. Gudrun steadied herself by repeating over and over again that everything would be fine. She just needed to do this one thing and it all would be over soon. 

She breathed deeply, held her breath, and then kissed him. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, extracting the heavy smoke of death that was inhabiting his lifeless body until she felt her body click with his. She had studied this ritual hundreds of times back in the temple, but she never imagined she would one day perform it. Gudrun felt tears trail down her cheeks, but she didn’t let her emotions distract her as her hands traveled down his throat until they rested on his chest. 

Gudrun clenched her fingers, digging hard into his flesh, using all of her magic to go deeper until she was holding his cold and stiff heart. She knew it was going to be a difficult thing to do but she hadn’t expected the excruciating pain as the dark blood from his veins began running through hers as her own skin absorbed it. She breathed all that made him death. She absorbed all that made him lost to this world. She continued until she lost herself into the darkness that quickly engulfed her. That was the moment she knew she served her purpose. And then she knew nothing else.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki gasped. 

His lungs burned as if on fire while fought to keep his throat from closing up again. He inhaled between desperate coughing fits until his breathing turned more steady, until he didn’t feel like he was drowning. Confusion quickly made way to memory and memory made way to horror as he recalled his last minutes alive. He shouldn’t be here. 

Loki sat up as he tried to collect his thoughts. His vision still blurry made everything look like there was glass between him and reality. Hel, he wasn’t even sure any of this was real. Maybe he was dead after all. 

After a few minutes taking in his surroundings he noticed a body laying next to him. Against his better judgement, he gently moved the the white hair that covered her face to take a better look. She seemed familiar, probably an Asgardian. She was maybe around his age with a pale heart-shaped face covered in freckles.

His thoughts felt as if wrapped in wool yet Loki was almost sure he knew her. One the Matron Volva’s apprentices but he couldn’t recall her name. 

Why was she here next to him?

Loki wasn’t too sure of what has taken place since he died. He wasn’t even sure where or when he was, years could have passed by.

His heart raced as he considered what this meant. Maybe there were no more Asgardians left in the universe. He didn’t even want to think that maybe Thor was dead. 

Were he and the girl the last ones alive?

Loki took another look at Gudrun as she rested next to him. He reflected that whatever dark magic she had used to bring him back must have been too arduous on her. She looked small, frail, her lips pale, like her body was giving up on her. Loki was too tired and confused to do anything. He might be alive again but he felt old, his whole body aching. Loki covered her with the blanket at the foot of the bed before slowly getting up. His legs felt shaky and it took him a few minutes to gain control back.

She needed to rest and he needed to find answers. He wondered what made her do such a rash thing like bring him back. He didn’t deserve it. He was well aware of all the bad and shameful things he’d done to alienate himself from everyone in all the nine realms.

When Thanos had crushed his throat he’d felt at peace knowing that he was finally paying for all the evil he’d brought to all of those that had loved him. Now to find himself back because this girl sacrificed herself for him made him angry. Not at her but at the Norns for cursing him to walk amongst the living once more. 

\---

Loki had aimlessly walked around the spaceship for hours until he’d reached the cockpit, where he found Valkyrie. He had never felt so happy to see a familiar face, to know that he and the witch weren’t the only Asgardians left in this universe. At first he hadn’t been sure how to approach Valkyrie. How do you announce you’re back from the dead? Again.

To his disappointment, Val wasn’t impressed. She had figured out that Gudrun was up to something. The girl had been too quiet during dinner last night, she said. Valkyrie had never trusted a witch that wanted to be left alone with a corpse, even if it was Loki’s corpse.

Loki felt like Val was being too harsh on the girl. Magic made others distrust even the best of people, just because they didn’t understand it. He decided it was best to swerve the conversation away from the girl for now. He wasn’t ready to share detail on what she’d done for him.

“Where’s my brother?” he asked, his voice still hoarse.

“He… didn’t make it,” said Val, avoiding looking at Loki.

Loki couldn’t find a single thing to say. His mind felt numb. Her words sinked in slowly as if time had stopped forever. He could feel his eyes water and tears roll down his cheeks but her still couldn’t fully believe her. 

No matter the challenges, Thor always came on top victorious. To hear that he didn’t defeat his enemies this time was too much for him to bear. After all the times he denied being an Odinson he felt strangely bare without Thor by his side. The thing he wished for, to be rid of Thor, finally came to be but after he had accepted his love for his brother. 

To make things worse, it dawned on him that now that Thor was gone, his people would probably look up to him for guidance. The whole thing was a cruel joke. 

“We have a beacon sign from Midgard,” said Valkyrie, talking softly as if trying to distract Loki, “We figured it was the safest place to go to. It was Thor’s original plan.”

She waited for him to answer back but he never did, without a word Loki walked out of the cockpit.

There was too much going on and he didn’t have a plan. He usually has a plan and a few alternatives to that plan, but not this time. 

All he wanted right now was to be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki had been waiting for days but it seemed like Gudrun wasn’t going to wake up. She slumbered in a deep trance as if she’d never been anything else but this. Her breathing getting shallower each day. 

As he moved a lock of hair from her face, Loki wondered who she’d been before Asgard had been destroyed. He’d seen her around the palace but had never talked to her that he remembered. 

The surviving Asgardians looked up to him for guidance since he was the only surviving Odinson but at this moment their needs were too much for him. Pretending to have all the answers was taking a toll on him. He was barely sleeping or eating, only spending time here was bringing him some sort of peace. The only times he’d slept in the last few weeks was the times he sat by her. The girl that brought him back.

Loki had begun spending time with Gudrun after Val mentioned the girl had been in the ship with Thor until the last moment. He wanted to know every last detail of what had happened inside that ship because deep down he still hoped Thor survived. There was something inside of him that didn’t want to give up hope. 

As he held her feeble wand he was tempted to use his Seidr to extract her memories. He observed her in deep sleep and wasn’t too sure that it was a peaceful sleep. Loki lightly touched his fingers to her temples and closed his eyes. When he opened them he was back on the ship looking at himself being strangled to death. 

He never thought seeing himself perish would be almost as terrifying as living through it. Loki was too engrossed on the horrible memory in front of him and didn’t notice a soft hand touch his arm. It wasn’t until he felt someone pulling his tense arm that he turned around. Gudrun was standing next to him.

“You really don’t have to see this part,” said Gudrun softly, before the scene in front of him skipped a few minutes. Thor was now desperately trying to wake up Loki as he laid on the floor. At the sight of his brother in so much pain, Loki’s could have sworn his heart was going to break. He never wanted to see Thor suffer like this for him ever again.

“Maybe I don’t need to see any of this after all,” Loki said quietly, as he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again he was back at the palace. An exact replica of his lost home. 

“Is this better?” asked Gudrun, smiling.

“I’m not sure.” Loki walked to one of the nearby windows where the gardens were visible a few floors down. He stared silently into the distance, brows furrowed as he ran his fingers through his ravne hair. “Is this where you’re hiding from death?” he finally asked, turning to face her. He’d had apprehensions about looking her in the eyes but her kind smile put him at ease.

“My first day as an apprentice. This is a good memory in which to hide. For now,” Gudrun answered, pointing towards the garden so Loki could see her younger self sitting in a bench reading a book. Loki didn’t see as her brows furrowed with concern. She didn’t know how much time she had but she planned to spend it hiding in happy memories until the sickness caught on to her.

They both observed as young Gudrun sat down to read a book. Loki saw how happy she was as she turned the page after page of her potions and tinctures book. He’d read it years before but could never really get the hang of such spells. He wondered if she was any good at them but didn’t ask Gudrun.

He observed as two girls and a guy walked by Gudrun. They walked close to Gudrun as she lifted her head from reading and smiled to them. Loki could make out her lips uttering a timid greeting. The guy responded by slapping the book from her hands as the two girls laughed at Gudrun. As they kept walking away, it was obvious that Gudrun was trying not to cry. 

When Gudrun reached for the book it flew out of her hands  hitting the guy’s head with such speed that he fell forward. Gudrun looked around surprised at what had just happened.

Enraged the blond man got up as he touched the back of his head, ready to attack Gudrun. Loki was surprised to see his younger self pick up the book and walking up to the angry man. Loki stood crossing his arms as he looked down at the shorter man and  asked him with a starn face if there was anything wrong. The guy glanced at Loki recognizing him as one of the Princes. Realizing he was in too deep, he quickly apologized and left at an almost running speed, leaving the two girls behind. Young Loki gave the book to young Gudrun and smiled to her. She thanked him before he kept going on his way.

“You were always a kind person. At least you always were to me even if you don’t remember me,” said Gudrun, pressing her finger to his lips to stop him from protesting. “No one saw it, but you did things like this all the time before the bitterness of learning the truth of your heritage drove you astray.  I don’t know if I’ll ever wake up, all I know is that it was worth it because I believe in you.”

Loki held her hand in his before touching her fingers with his lips, “And for that I will be forever thankful even if I don’t really deserve it.” He embraced her before grasping what he was doing. It had been too long since he’d been this close to another person, he’d forgotten how good the comfort of closeness could feel.

“I need you to fight Gudrun. You can get out of here. Help others,” he whispered, as he held her even closer to him.

Gudrun resisted for a second before she relaxed and let herself be engulfed by Loki’s tall frame. She knew he needed this as much as she needed it, it had been so lonely all by herself trapped in her own memories. Feeling his arms around her awakened a desire in her to fight instead of slowly waiting for death to claim her. His words had seeped deep into her and she wanted to live if only to help others.

After what seemed forever she gently pushed Loki back to take a look at his face. His smile was sweet and warm and it made her ache to walk amongst the living. She was going to fight to get out of this place. 

\---

Loki woke up with a start. He’d fallen asleep next to Gudrun at some point. He had a feeling he’d dreamt with her, but couldn’t remember anything at first. It would take him a few days to recollect the words they’d exchanged. 

All he knew was that at some point in his slumber he’d decided to lead his people as best as possible to honor his brother, be he dead or alive. He’d gotten a second chance. It was time to pay for his past actions by proving himself to everyone over and over, until his sins were forgotten.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope in the Horizon for the Asgardians.

They had traveled for months. The beacon sign had only sent them in the general direction of Midgard, leaving them stranded for months in search of the blue planet.

Val had finally intercepted random radio waves from a place called Wakanda in Midgard. She waited to hear some sort of invitations for save passage or asylum but it was what it seemed to a recording. Val thought about waiting some more but at this point Wakanda would be the safest place to go. Her people were getting desperate and rations were running out. 

They’d tried to communicate with them on the way to Earth but hadn’t been lucky so far. Val had a feeling that their comm systems were malfunctioning and that maybe once they were closer they would be able to talk to someone.

Val thought about getting Loki, but everything was happening too fast for her to leave her post. She would have to fill him in on the whole thing later.

As the ship hovered over Wakanda, Val could only see dense forest in all directions but the ship picked up the energy waves of a  heavy force field underneath all the thicket. 

“This is Valkyrie. We are the surviving Asgardians and we seek asylum,” she tried once more, “We look for no trouble, just shelter.”

There was silence on the radio. As the minutes passed by she could feel her whole body tense with anticipation. Val didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news to the surviving Asgardians. They’d been through enough already. 

She waited some more but no answer came forth. She was about to give up and turn around when a familiar voice echoed on the comm system. 

“Identify yourselves,” said an angry voice that Val knew had to belong to Thor, “There are no Asgardian survivors. Don’t lie to me. I repeat, identify yourselves.”

“Thor?” said Val, barely managing to talk, “Is that really you?”

“Valkyrie?” Thor asked, in disbelief. He didn’t wait for her to answer before giving orders for them to be let into Wakanda. She could hear voices in the background but couldn't make out what they were saying. 

Thor’s voice was filled with so much joy and excitement that Val couldn't help but to feel blissfully hopeful. Their search for asylum was finally over and she could maybe relax at last. She just needed a drink before getting out of this ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is running longer that I thought. It might actually be around 10 ch. None of them are going to be too long as I promised myself that this would be a short fic.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some positive progress at last.

Loki didn’t want to admit to himself he was nervous. He was used to controlling all the sides of the story by moving things around to get the outcome he wanted but not today. The unfolding events of the last few months had thrown that out of his manipulative grasp. It made him feel unprepared for whatever was coming up next.

Val had sent him a quick message over the comm to let him know they were landing before he felt the familiar force of the ship touching ground. It would have made him more comfortable if she’d told him about all that was happening as it was happening but it was too late. He would just walk to the hangar door and hope for the best.

He knew they were headed to Midgard but now that they had arrived he wasn’t sure how they would receive him. Would they try to judge him for his previous actions? Was he still that person?

It seemed to him like the whole New York thing had happened centuries ago after all he’d been through. He knew he wasn’t the same person but wasn’t too sure everyone else would be quick to accept this.

As the ship landed he breathed in and repeated to himself: whatever happens, I’ve been through worse. All he wanted was for his people to finally have a chance to thrive once more. He knew Midgardians were not too crazy about aliens showing up out of nowhere but this time they came in peace. That must count for something.

As the doors opened, expecting the unexpected, Loki could feel the hot breeze of Wakanda surround him. The sun was so bright that he could not see beyond where he was standing. After so many months stuck in the darkness of space it was going to take him and the tripulation a while to get used to this warmer and sunnier climate. 

He could hear people talking, their unfamiliar accent high with anticipation. Amongst them he could hear a familiar booming voice that he would recognize anywhere in this universe. His brother. 

Once his vision cleared, Loki was shocked to see Thor alive and well. Before he even realized it tears were running down his cheeks. The one face he hadn’t been sure he would ever see again was in front of him smiling.

Thor wasted no time by crossing the space between them to hold him in a hug so hard that Loki could swear he heard a few ribs pop. He didn’t care at all because he brother was alive and well. He tightly hugged Thor back as he began to laugh at the way everything had unfolded. 

Maybe the Norns knew what they’re doing after all.

“Brother, I thought you lost for real this time,” Thor finally said, overcome with happiness. 

Loki knew he had to let go at some point but he didn’t want to, he wanted to make sure this wasn’t some sort of cruel joke.

“It not that easy to get rid of me,” answered Loki, as he finally broke the hug by moving back but still holding his brother by the shoulders. 

\---

Thor walked with Loki down the palace hallways until they found T’Challa. Loki couldn’t help but to be amazed at how advanced everything seemed in the palace. He felt a pang of homesickness as he marveled at the beauty of the place. It didn’t look like Asgard but there was a familiarity to it that made him wish he was back there. 

Once they found him, the king of Wakanda assured them that his sister would take the best care possible as soon as they brought Gudrun to the infirmary. T’Challa warmly offered all of his resources to the brothers if they needed them. Loki usually didn’t trust people that quickly offered so much so easily, but there was something about T’Challa that made him trust him. He seemed like a fair and just king. 

Still, that didn’t stop Loki from demanding the aid of someone that knew about magic not one of the human doctors with their primitive sciences. 

He held on tightly to Gudrun as he held her in his arms not letting go as a few lab assistants tried to pry her from his arms. He wasn’t just going to hand her off to some random humans just because T’Challa told him they were good. He needed proof. Gudrun was his responsibility and he would make sure she got the best care in the universe.

“There’s nothing primitive about my type of science,” said a short dark girl with two hair buns as she came into the lab. She seemed sure of herself and at ease in the surroundings of the lab. From the moment Loki saw her, she had never stopped smiling. 

Loki had never met her before. He eyed her cautiously in an effort to perceive if she was someone he could trust Gudrun’s life with. He knew she was still getting weaker by the day and his resources were limited, but he wanted to be sure she would be in someone’s capable hands anyway.

“I think I’ve seen enough of your realm to know,” answered Loki, infuriated at whoever this was. 

“This is Wakanda, not the same,” she said smiling broadly, before holding out her hand. Loki declined to shake her hand as he held on even more tightly to Gudrun. He could tell Thor was getting exasperated about his attitude but he didn’t care.

“I’m Shuri, the best at non-primitive science. Also T’challa’s sis,” she continued, “You know, Princess Shuri. Your majesty,” she finished, curtsying in playful mockery of the Asgardian Prince.

Loki was infuriated furthermore with the way she mocked him. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to zap her to another planet far away from him for her insolence but he wasn’t that kind of man anymore.

Deep down he knew she was his best option. He was going to need her help if he wanted Gudrun to survive. Shuri seemed to be the only person close to being able to help. He knew he would have to swallow his pride and accept whatever she had to offer.

“Fine, hopefully your are as advanced as you claimed to be,” he said, handing Gudrun over for them to run some studies. 

“Yup, just give us a few hours and we’ll have her good as new,” answered Shuri, as she walked away with her lab crew to run some tests on Gudrun.

He still wasn’t too sure they could help but he was it his wit’s end, it would have to do. 


End file.
